MATTHEW HERBERT PRESENTS: PLAT DU JOUR
all tracks written according to the rules of pccom turbo extreme
all tracks written and produced by matthew ‘bad ankle’ herbert
recorded in the dairy horn and at studio 1 at the dairy
engineer: jamie harley
assistant: alexis smith
mastered by mike marsh at the exchange
published by soundslike music/bucks music group ltd
CD artwork and design by Stanley Donwood

field recordings made by mattthew herbert, with the able assistance of polly russell, alexis smith, john wraight, dani siciliano and lenka clayton.
recorded using a nagra v with two neumann kmr82 microphones and an audiotechnica at825

THE TRUNCATED LIFE OF A MODERN INDUSTRIALISED CHICKEN
field recordings:
30,000 broiler chickens in one barn
24,000 one minute old chicks in one room of a commercial hatchery
40 free-range chickens in a coop
one of those chickens being killed for a local farmers’ market and its
feathers washed and plucked
a dozen organic eggs from tescos
a 2.0l 21cm pyrex classic bowl made in the uk

the average age of a british broiler chicken is between 36 and 41 days

all melodies and chords are samples of eggs on pyrex bowls and played by phil parnell, dave o’higgins, pete wraight and matthew herbert

all live percussion is made from a dozen organic free-range eggs, egg boxes and egg cups and played with chopsticks by leo taylor

the bassline is a ‘cheep’ from a minute-old chick pitched down

THESE BRANDED WATERS
studio recordings are of different bottled waters:

dasani: water magnesium sulphate, potassium chloride, salt, ozone. (picked up on plane from canada). owned by coca cola.
thames water tap water.
highland spring (owned by a consortium based in lichtenstein)
evian (bought at sainsburys local) distributed by coca cola in north america
san pelllegrino in glass bottle (found in fridge) owned by nestle
perrier owned by nestle
vittel owned by nestle
perfectly clear, red apple flavour ‘sugar free’: spring water, citric
acid, flavourings, sweetener (aspartame), preservatives (potassium
sorbate, sodium benzoate) contains a source of phenylalaine
aqua pura 2 litre official bottled water of jaguar uk athletics great britain athletics team

my recent french water bottle said recently: ‘your hydration partner’
www.bottledwaterweb.com has more details about these waters and their corporate owners

in india, 69 per cent of the people do not have access to sanitary services
the track is 182 bpm because it takes 182,000 litres of water to make one ton of steel

sanitation coverage is 53% in bangladesh, so the track is 5’30′ long
www.rainwaterharvesting.org

how about we turn off public ornamental fountains until the rest of the world has clean drinking water and sanitation?

all melodies and chords are a sample of blowing over the top of a sanpellegrino bottle and played by phil parnell, dave o’higgins, pete wraight and matthew herbert

live percussion is made from all the empty bottles plus a malvern (coca cola) water cooler for a kick drum and played by leo taylor

fight compulsory fluoride in uk tap water

PIGS IN SHIT
field recordings of tesco’s healthy living british butchersí choice pork sausages british pork 67%. water rusks wheat flour, salt, potato starch salt, spices, stabilizers (tetrasodium diphosphate, disodium diphosphate) dextrose, antioxidant (ascorbic acid) preservative (sodium metabisulphite) dried herbs, filled into non-uk beef protein casings

AN EMPIRE OF COFFEE
if you can get to see it, do watch the new film Black Gold by the francis brother’s currently doing the rounds of film festivals.

studio recordings:
60 vietnamese robusta beans being dropped in to an empty container of monsanto-made roundup weedkiller. roundup ultra contains the same active ingredient as agent orange, a herbicide used in vientam and now used in colombia in the ‘war on drugs’. (60 vietnamese robusta beans was the choice of beethoven and the same as an average starbucks espresso)

the puncture of a nescafe instant coffee jar 2 x sara lee instant croissant mix tins connected with a piece of garden string and then plucked to make the bass line yeminii mocha: the original coffee, from the home of osama, sucked in and spat out

the vietnam robusta grean beans in detail:
washed grade one – polished
moisture 12.5% max
black beans 0%
broken beans 0.3% max
foreign matter 0.1% max
bean size min 90% on screen 18
date of sample 10/02/2004
bpm 79.939000 (population of vietnam)

2,4,2,4,5 chemical numbers in agent orange (agent orange was a 50/50 mix of two herbicides, 2,4,-d (2,4, dichlorophenoxyacetic acid) and 2,4,5-t (2,4,5 trichlorophenoxyacetic acid).

we have been given kind permission by harper collins to reprint a chapter of antony wild’s book on the history of coffee. you can read part of the story about vietnamese coffee and why it is represented here.

please read the petition www.petitiononline.com/aovn for the victims of agent orange

all melodies and chords are samples of coffee cups, coffee tins and nestle coffee jars and played by phil parnell, dave o’higgins, pete wraight and matthew Herbert live percussion is made from a large maxwell house coffee tin, a milk carton, and the roundup weedkiller container as a kick drum, and played by leo taylor
notes, slurps, ideas and authoritative gestures by antony wild

CELEBRITY
this track is made entirely from food endorsed by celebrities or tied in with a marketing strategy. coincidentally, it is all food aimed at children, and is all of dubious nutritional value. my personal favourite is shrek cereal: a tie-in with a film that says you can still be loved if you are fat, used to sell heavily-processed breakfast cereal that, ahem, makes you fat.

my face is in a movie
my picture’s in a store
i’m climbing like an angel
’cause i need more

i’m sponsored and promoted
tied-in, commodified
if money equals murder
i’m doing time

always felt like selling something
guess it might as well be myself
cash me in to little pieces
for this love

don’t care what makes it taste good
don’t care what gives it fizz
where money is the question
the answer is

make my balance fatter
spend me straight to hell
when money’s all that matters
you are what you sell

always felt like selling something
guess it might as well be myself
just gotta find something that i stand for
for this love

give me your money
give me all your money
’cause i need more

go gordon, go ramsay, go beyonce, go beyonce

ingredients:

blue celebration cake ingredients:
sugar, wheat flour, pasteurised whole egg, vegetable margarine (vegetable oil, and hydrogenated vegetable oil, water, salt), plum and raspberry jam (glucose-fructose syrup, plums, raspberries, sugar, gelling agent: pectin, citric acid, acidity regulator: trisodium cirtrate, colour: anthocyanins), glucose syrup, partially reconstituted dried skimmed milk, vegetable shortening (vegetable oil and hydrogenated vegetable oil, emulsifier: mono- and di-glycerides of fatty acids), butter, humectant (vegetable glycerine), flavouring, modified tapioca starch, modified maize starch, soya flour, invert
sugar syrup, raising agents (disodium diphosphate, sodium bicarbonate), stabilisers (xanthan gum, tragacanth), preservatives (potassium sorbate, sorbic acid), salt, dried egg white, colours (quinoline yellow, carmoisine, ponceau 4r, brilliant blue fcf, vegetable carbon), shellac.

pringle’s original
: dehydrated potatoes, vegetable oil, corn flour, wheat starch (gluten free), maltodextrin, emulsifier: e 471, salt and dextrose, 0.3% protein (codex alimentarius).

diet coca-cola: carbonated water, colour (caramel e150d), sweeteners (aspartame, acesulfame k), flavourings (including caffeine), phosphoric acid, citric acid, preservative (e 211). contains a source of phenylalanine.
sugar puffs-(quaker oats ltd): wheat, sugar, glucose-fructose syrup, honey (3%), glucose syrup, molasses, niacin, iron, riboflavin (b2), thiamin (b1).
kelloggís frosties turbo: maize, sugar, chocolate cereal pieces (12%), (cereal flours {wheat, rice, oat}, sugar, glucose syrup, chocolate, cocoa powder, hydrogenated vegetable oil, fat reduced cocoa powder, tricalcium phosphate, salt, flavouring), malt flavouring, salt, calcium carbonate, glucose-fructose, syrup, niacin, iron, vitamin b6, thiamin (b1), riboflavin (b2), folic acid, vitamin b12.
kelloggís rice crispies: rice, sugar, salt, glucose-fructose syrup, barley malt flavouring, niacin, iron, vitamin b6, riboflavin (b2), thiamin (b1), folic acid, vitamin b12.

kelloggís screaming fruit winders strawberry: fruit (70%) (pear puree from concentrate, strawberry puree from concentrate), glucose syrup, maltodextrin, sugar, hydrogenated vegetable oil, gelling agent (pectin), emulsifiers (mono and diglycerides of fatty acids), natural strawberry flavouring, elderberry juice concentrate, citric acid, acidity regulator (sodium nitrate), antioxidant (ascorbic acid), maltic acid.

weetabix: whole wheat, malted barley extract, sugar salt, niacin, iron, thiamin (b1), riboflavin (b2), folic acid.

walkerís baked ham & mustard flavour crisps: potatoes, vegetable oil, baked ham and mustard flavour lactose (from milk), wheat flour, flavouring, flavour enhancer (monosodium glutamate), wheat maltodextrin, hydrolysed soya protein, barley malt flour, colour (paprika extract), mustard oil], salt. promotional tie-in: gordon ramsay

walkerís sensations pan-fried sausage & sage flavour crisps: potatoes, vegetable oil, pan-fried sausage and sage flavour [wheat maltodextrin, pork powder, sage, flavour enhancers (monosodium glutamate, disodium inosinate, disodium guanylate), black pepper, white pepper, onion powder, parsley, lactose (made with animal rennet), milk proteins, flavouring, colour (paprika exrtract)], salt. promotional tie-in: gary lineker

walker’s sensations honey roasted ham flavour chips: potatoes, vegetable oil, honey roasted ham flavour [lactose, flavour enhancer (monosodium glutamate, disodium inosinate, disodium guanylate), whey powder, ham, honey powder, flavouring, hydrolysed soya protein, cloves, colour (paprika extract)], salt.

mr. men & little miss beans, potato and mini hot dogs (patak foods ltd): water, potato(20%), cooked haricot beans(20%), hot dog sausages (15%) (pork (35%), water, pork fat, potato starch, pork rind, soya protein isolate, salt, spices, stabiliser: sodium di phosphate, smoke flavouring, dextrose, antioxidants: sodium ascorbate, sodium citrate, flavour enhancer: monosodium glutamate), concentrated tomato puree, sugar, modified maize starch, maize starch, salt, vegetable oil, natural flavouring.

dairylea lunchables pizza ham & cheese (kraft): pizza base: wheat flour, vegetable oil, yeast, sugar, salt, emulsifiers (e471, e472e), raising agents (e450, e500), preservative (e282), acidity regulator (lactic acid), stabiliser (e412), wheat malt flour, flour treatment agents (e300, e920). may contain traces of egg and soya protein. pizza sauce: tomato puree (70%), water, glucose syrup, onions, modified starch, garlic, salt, herbs, thickener (e415), citric acid, spice.
cheese food slices: cheese (80%), butter, emulsifying salts (e331, e452), milk proteins, whey powder, lactic acid, preservative (e200). formed ham: pork (80%), water, starch, acidity regulators (e326, e331, e262), salt, milk proteins, dextrose, sugar, flavour enhancer (e621), flavourings, antioxidant (e301), preservative (e250).
sabrina pasta shapes in tomato source (heinz): tomatoes (47%), pasta shapes (40%, made from wheat), water, sugar, glucose syrup, salt, modified cornflour, citric acid, spice, garlic salt, spice extract, herb extract, iron sulphate, maltodextrin, niacin, vitamin b12, riboflavin, thiamin, potassium iodide.

action man pasta shapes in tomato sauce (hp): cooked pasta shapes (50%) (water, durum wheat), tomato puree (21%), water, sugar, salt, modified maize starch, wheat flour, ascorbic acid, a composite mixture of vitamins and minerals, ground paprika, vegetable oil, onion powder, yeast extract, flavourings.
postman pat pasta shapes in tomato sauce (hp): cooked pasta shapes (50%) (water, durum wheat), tomato puree (21%), water, sugar, spirit vinegar, modified maize starch, rapeseed oil, salt, glucose syrup, spice extracts, herb extracts, ascorbic acid, a composite mixture of vitamins and minerals.
scooby-doo pasta shapes in tomato sauce with bbq flavour pork sausages (hp): water, cooked pasta shapes (28%) (water, durum wheat), bbq flavour sausages (16%) (pork (67%), water, rusk, potato starch, salt, seasoning, dextrose, lactose, flavourings, stabilisers e450, yeast, preservative e223), tomato puree (10%), sugar, spirit vinegar, modified maize starch, vegetable oil, salt, glucose syrup, ascorbic acid, paprika extract, wheat flour, a composite mix of vitamins and minerals, spice extracts, herb extracts, garlic extract.

tom and jerry pasta shapes in tomato sauce with mini sausages (hp): cooked pasta shapes (40%) (water, durum wheat), water, sausages (14%) (pork (65%), water, rusk, potato starch, isolated soya protein, spices, salt), tomato puree (11%), sugar, spirit vinegar, modified maize starch, rapeseed oil, salt, glucose syrup, ascorbic acid, paprika extract, wheat flour, a composite mix of vitamins and minerals, spice extracts, herb extracts, garlic extract.
fimbles paste shapes in tomato sauce (heinz): tomatoes (46%), pasta shapes (44%), water, sugar, glucose-fructose syrup, salt, modified cornflour, citric acid, garlic salt, spice, herb extract, spice extract, iron sulphate, maltodextrin, niacin, vitamin b12, riboflavin, thiamin, potassium iodide.
clifford pasta shapes in tomato sauce (heinz): pasta shapes (46%) (water, durum wheat semolina), tomatoes (46%), water, sugar, glucose-fructose syrup, salt, modified cornflour, citric acid, garlic salt, spice, herb extract, spice extract, iron sulphate, maltodextrin, niacin, vitamin b12, riboflavin, thiamin, potassium iodide.
cheestrings (golden vale): medium fat hard cheese, cheese flavourings, colour (annatto).

cheestrings attack-a-snack chicken wrap (golden vale): wheat tortillas (40%): wheatflour, water, vegetable oil, glycerol, dextrose, raising agents (diphospate & sodium hydrogen carbonate), salt, acidity regulator (sodium diacetate), preservatives (calcium propionate, potassium sorbate). chicken (28%): chicken breast (80%), water, potato starch, acidity regulator (potassium lactate), salt, sugar, stabilisers (carrageenan, sodium triphosphate, sodium polyphosphate, sodium diphosphate), preservative (sodium nitrate). cheestrings (21%): cheddar cheese, natural cheese flavouring, colour (annatto). tomato ketchup: tomatoes (126g per 100g ketchup), spirit vinegar, glucose syrup, sugar, salt, spice and herb extracts, spice, garlic powder.
scooby-doo squeezy snacks (primula): sqeezy cheese (45%): cheese (60%), reconstituted whey/skimmed milk powder, emulsifying salts (polyphosphate, sodium phosphate), preservative (nisin). wholemeal biscuits (55%): wholemeal flour (38%), flour, sugar, palm oil, syrup, salt, raising agent (sodium hydrogen sulphate).
scooby doo snackeroos (bonbon buddies): wheat flour, vegetable margarine (with colours e100, e160b), sugar, milk chocolate chips (10%)(with emulsifier-soya lecithin), rolled oats, partially inverted sucrose syrup, skimmed milk powder, raising agents (ammonium hydrogen carbonate, sodium hydrogen carb
onate), flavourings, salt, milk chocolate contains: cocoa solids 20% minimum, milk solids 20% minimum.

shrek ribena light blackcurrant juice drink (glaxosmithkline): water, blackcurrant juice from concentrate (6%), sucrose, citric acid, vitamin c, sweetners (aspartame, acesulfame k), flavouring, colour (anthocyanins).
fruitin squeezie apple crushed fruit snack (del monte): fruit and fruit juices from concentrate over 99% (apple puree 91%, concentrated apple juice 8%, concentrated lemon juice), natural apple flavouring, vitamin c (as ascorbic acid).
cooked dinosaur turkey roll (bernard matthews): turkey (46%), chicken, water, wheat starch, turkey skin, salt, stabilisers (e451, e450, e452, e407, e464), potato starch, dextrose, lactose, acidity regulator (e575), modified maize starch, flavouring, spice and herb extracts, sugar, milk protein, antioxidant (e301), preservative (e250), vegetable oil.
all melodies and chords are samples of blowing over the top of a pepsi max with lime bottle or daniís voice and played by phil parnell, dave oíhiggins, pete wraight, nick ramm and matthew herbert live percussion is made from all the objects listed above with the boy band ëblueí cake as principle snare (played by leo taylor)

SUGAR
one granule of silver spoon beet sugar crystals for coffee
ingredients: sugar and colour caramel:
an eu-subsidised sugar, dumped in the world markets, artificially depressing global prices and having a particularly dire impact on former slave colonies of the caribbean, established in the first place to grow, er… sugar
with the help of heston blumenthal and jocky at the fat duck, we burnt it, melted it, whisked it, dissolved it, dropped it, crushed it, ground it, grated it and boiled it.

75 percentage of allergic reactions reported to the fda caused by aspartame, invented by monsanto

all the melodies, basslines and chords are all made from a can of coke. which contains 10 teaspoons of sugar.
these are played by pete wraight, dave o’higgins, phil parnell and matthew herbert
leo taylor plays a 6 pack of coke, a packet of frosties turbos (which are over 41% sugar)

AN APPLE A DAY…
the sounds of around 3255 people eating an apple.
65 individual people eating an apple on apple day 2004
crunchers at sonar festival, barcelona, babylon, istanbul for two nights, in montreal, the pompidou centre in paris, and in london at the queen elizabeth hall.
all apples were local varieties, in season ( apart from montreal where they were from cold storage) and organic.

the uk has over 2000 varieties of apple, but supermarkets prefer to import theirs from america, south africa and new zealand.

WHITE BREAD, BROWN BREAD
added 12.10.04

bpm 97- 97% of uk bread made using the chorleywood bread process: cbp was adopted by the uk baking industry in the early sixties. cbp significantly reduced the time required to produce loaves within automated bread production. combining chemical improvers and low protein flours in mechanical high speed mixers the bread dough develops in a few minutes without the need for fermentation. fermentation is essential for the development of bread flavour and texture. furthermore, in order to bind the dough together, large quantities of vegetable fat are used. sliced, wrapped bread is the ultimate product of the cbp method.

i can’t find the ingredients for the organic white sliced loaf i used, but below are the details for the brown loaf:

stay fresh wholemeal sliced: wholemeal flour, water, yeast, salt, vegetable fat, emuslifiers (mono-and di-glycerides of fatty acids, mono- and di-acetyltartaric acid esters of mono- and di-glycerides of fatty acids), soya flour, preservatives (calcium propionate, potassium sorbate), vinegar, flour treatment agent (ascorbic acid)

emulsifiers are binding agents to make oils and water mix.
calcium propionate is an anti-moulding agent
ascorbic acid is vitamin c

the ultimate modern compromise: brown bread is nutritionally better for you but contains 5 times more pesticide residues (due to the milling process) than white bread.

a modern industrialised loaf takes 1 1/2 hours to bake make from start to packaged finish compared to: between 5 and 24 hours for a traditionally fermented, non-mechanically made loaf.

all melodies and chords are samples of a bellini bet 200 toaster (made in china) and played by phil parnell, dave o’higgins, pete wraight and matthew Herbert live percussion is made from white toast, brown toast and a Russell hobbs and bellini toaster. the kick drum is a petrol can. they are all played by leo taylor

FATTER, SLIMMER, FASTER, SLOWER
field recordings: an atkins fried breakfast, and various slimfast breakfast replacement drinks and bars tied to a bike and ridden round the yard at the dairy recording studios.
at the end you can hear recordings of a scottish salmon farm and their computerised feeding system.

sainsbury’s be good to yourself extra lean pork sausages (2)
pork 67% water rusk (wheat flour water salt, raising agent: ammonium
carbonate) dextrose salt
spices stablilzers: di and triphosphates phosphoric acid herbs sodium silphite
antioxidants: ascorbyl palmitate, alpha tocopherol
filled in a beef protein casing

tesco’s healthy-living danish smoked rindless bacon rashers
pork water salt sodium nitrite

columbus healthier eggs. free range, fed a vegetarian diet

canderel low calorie sweetener: aspartame*, lactose, cross-linked cmc,
leucine. *contains a source of phenylalanine.

seven seas low-carb diet support: capsule shell (gelatin, glycerol, sorbitol syrup, colours: titanium dioxide, copper chlorophyllins), inulin, soya bean oil, hydrogenated vegetable oil, vitamin c (ascorbic acid), parsley seed oil. emulisifier: lecithin, beeswax, peppermint oil, nicotinamide, vitamin e (d alpha tocopherol), vitamin b6 (pyridixine hydrochloride), thiamin nitrate, riboflavin, folic acid.

atkins dieters’ advantage tablets: calcium hydrogen, phosphate, inulin, citrus pectin fibre, calcium carbonate preparation (calcium carbonate, acacia gum, emulsifier (polyoxethylene sorbitan monoleate), glucomannan, microcrystalline cellulose, cellulose, cross-linked sodium carboxymethylcellulose, artichoke extract, silicon
dioxide, potassium citrate, magnesium oxide, l-carnitine tartrate, calcium stearate, parsley leaf extract, spirulina algae, bromrlain, orange peel extract, shellac, pantothenic acid (as d-pantothenate calcium), l-phenylalanine, l-tyrosine, coenzyme q10, black pepper extract, vitamin b6 (as pyridoxine

kellogg’s special k bar-apple & pear: kellog’s special k cereal (44%)
(rice, wheat, sugar, wheat gluten, dried skimmed milk, salt, defatted wheatgerm, malt flavouring, vitamin c, niacin, iron, vitamin b6, riboflavin (b2), thiamin (b1), folic acid, vitamin b12), glucose syrup, dried fruit (8%) (apple, pear-presevative:sulphur dioxide),
sugar, fructose, hydrogenated vegetable oil, dextrose, dried skimmed milk, humectant (sorbitol, glycerol), milk fat, calcium carbonate, lactose, flavourings, citric acid, emulsifier (soy lecithin), maltic acid, antioxidant (e320). hydrochloride), talc, chromium (iii) chloride.

slimfast banana shake flavour meal replacement
slimfast hot chocolate meal replacement
slimfast cafe classic meal replacement drink
slimfast cafe mocha meal replacement drink

the bpm of the track is 85 since 85% of british girls have tried dieting by the age of 13
www.eatright.org

all melodies and chords are samples of empty cans of slimfast diet drinks, or the sound of frying diet sausages, and played by phil parnell, dave o’higgins, pete wraight and matthew herbert
live percussion is played by leo taylor and made from slimfast cans,
full and em
pty, a water cooler, some chest expanders and a bike.

THE FINAL MEAL OF STACEY LAWTON
the final words of stacey lawton: i am saying, i want yíall to keep your heads up, hold on and stay strong for everybody. i mean ah, i donít want yíall to look at me like i am a killer or something man, cause i ainít no killer. i mean, i didnít, i didnít kill your father. i mean, i know how it look, but i didnít do it. you know what i am saying? you were out there with me, tommy. i mean, you know man. (mumbled) you know i always did want to say something to yíall. right? i canít say that i done it because i didnít do it. iíve got love for everybody. i am a christian now. iím saying i want everybody to keep thier heads up and stay strong. iím going to stay strong. iíll be seeing you, this is my last breath.

ricky, keep your head up baby. all y’all, doreen, melodee.

i mean, i know yíall donít come down here. i just really donít know what yíall want me to say. i mean, i know, ah, i mean, iím sorry anybody, ah, anybody got killed that night. it wasnít supposed to happen, but i didnít do it. i really didnít do it. i donít want yíall to go through life thinking that i did. you know what i am saying? i love everybody and i want yíall to stay strong. right? it would take me an hour or a long time, man, but, ah, man, i donít want to hold yíall up, man, like that, ah. yíall just keep your head up and stay strong, man.

give my love to everybody.

i love y’all.

during the presidential race 2000, while votes were being recounted, george w bush returned to texas and executed three men. one was Stacey lawton on 14th november. his final meal was a jar of pickles.
to read about his alleged crime visit: www.ccadp.org/staceylawton.htm

for this piece, heston blumenthal, head chef at the fat duck in bray, reconstructed the meal in his own unique style, and deconstructed 7 pickles (mrs ellwood pickles waitrose). what you hear is him eating them on 18.10.04. the track is 106bpm since the average time spent on deathrow is 10.6 years

heston prepared seven pickles using:
an electric pickle
a pickle milkshake served in a pickle
freeze-dried pickled popcorn
pickle ice cream in a dill cone
a pickle marinated in cola
popping candy pickle

all melodies and chords are samples of freeze-dried pickled popcorn dropping on a silver platter and played by matthew herbert
live percussion is made from drumming on a jar of biona organic pickles and played by leo taylor

THE NINE SEEDS OF NAVDANYA
the cost of a litre of pesticide is £120.
(some indian farmers have taken to using coca cola as a pesticide)
so i used 120 gram chana seeds in a tin foil beenie

ricetec patent no. 5663484
this is the patent number in which ricetec, a texas agribusiness firm, attempts to patent basmati rice, a plant neither created by ricetec nor indigenous to america.

consequently, i used the following numbers of seeds sent to me by navdanya to generate the sounds for this track:
5 basmati seeds
6 mustard seeds
6 millet seeds
3 horse gram seeds
4 barley seeds
8 wild cow pea seeds
4 green gram seeds

there are 5 times less yield from bt cotton in india (5 sesame seeds)
indian farmers earn 7 times less money using pesticides. 7 gram chana seeds.

navdanya is an organisation in india, promoting seed conservation and seed exchange. a portion of the profits from this record will be donated to their organisation.

the track is 122bpm as there are 122 million people in india without a toilet
the first record player was a tin foil phonograph, hence the tin foil.

here are 1.4 billion farmers in the so-called third world who depend on saved seeds to exist.

all melodies and chords are a sample of a kitchen roll tube made into a hunting horn and played by phil parnell, dave o’higgins, pete wraight and matthew herbert

WASTE LAND
field recordings:
the sewers beneath fleet street, london. accessed by a manhole cover near the unilever building at blackfriar’s bridge at midnight.
a household and commercial refuse dump in battersea (85% of uk waste goes in landfill)

all melodies and chords are samples of some weird moaning crushing machine at the household refuse dump, the gas warning meters we had to wear while we were down the sewers, and a flute made from an old toilet roll. These samples were played by phil parnell, dave o’higgins, pete wraight and matthew herbert
live percussion is made from playing an old rice krispies packet with some dustpan brushes, plus the main waste bin from the dairy studios and other general rubbish. it was played by leo taylor

NIGELLA, GEORGE, TONY AND ME
we recreated the meal that nigella lawson cooked for george bush when he came to britain to thank tony blair for his support during the iraq during the meal the wives ate separately. then we drove over the meal with a chieftan mk 10 battle tank from the mid-late sixties

we used only the finest ingredients, including duchy original organic products (a company run by prince charles with vastly different priorities than the government)

the menu:
roast pumpkin, radicchio and welsh goat’s feta

braised norfolk ham with honey and mustard glaze. creamed baked potatoes. seasonal vegetables

double baked apple pie, with cheddar crust. vanilla ice-cream or custard

an advisor to the foreign office baked the apple pie with his fiancee using one of nigella’s recipes. it was then taken to manassas, the site of one of the opening battles of the american civil war, where it was shot by an us ex-military intelligence officer using a 9mm luger (1937approx) as used by a nazi sd officer, colt 45 (model 1911) high standard .22.

all melodies and chords are samples of a wine glass and played by phil parnell and matthew herbert